As both a psychotherapist and a member of the Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM RoadSmart), Mark Vahrmeyer believes we need to understand driving as far more than a technical skill.

Driving is psychological, relational and moral, and it tells us something about how a person manages impulse, frustration, risk, responsibility and awareness of others.

This is particularly important when thinking about new and young drivers.

I didn’t know

Most people begin driving at seventeen or eighteen, at a stage when the mind is still developing. The capacity to anticipate consequences, regulate impulse, tolerate frustration and assess risk is still maturing. So, the adolescent mind is often quick, energetic and capable, but it is not yet fully seasoned. In young men in particular, there can also be a greater pull towards risk, status and performance, particularly when peers are present.

Modern cars can make this more difficult. Many vehicles now give the impression of being hermetically sealed from the outside world. They are quiet, comfortable, powerful and technologically sophisticated, but the danger is that the young driver feels less connected to speed, road surface, weather, noise, vulnerability and consequence. The car becomes an insulated chamber, and the outside world becomes something viewed through glass rather than properly felt and respected.

Cars are also increasingly marketed around technology: screens, connectivity, entertainment systems, driver aids and performance features. Some of this improves safety, but it also risks creating distraction and a subtle feeling of invincibility, and drivers, especially the young, may believe the car is doing more of the work than it actually is, or can. In reality, road safety still depends on judgment, restraint and attention. Technology can support those qualities, but it cannot replace them.

I didn’t hear

One of the most important psychological shifts in driving is the move from asking “How fast can I go?” to asking “Can I stop safely in the distance I can see to be clear on my side of the road?”

Many drivers, particularly young drivers, orientate themselves around speed, progress and keeping up with traffic. But safe driving is not about what the car can do; it is about what the driver can safely manage in the real conditions in front of them.

Good driving has much in common with how we approach life. It requires humility, patience and the capacity to think beyond oneself. The road is a shared social space, and driving is a relational activity. We trust other drivers to observe the same rules, customs and manners, and to bear us in mind just as we bear them in mind.

Young drivers also need to learn that when another road user does something frustrating, careless or inconsiderate, it is rarely, if ever, personal. Another driver cutting in, hesitating, failing to thank them or making a mistake is not usually an attack. However, the moment a driver experiences it as personal, they are at risk of becoming emotionally involved rather than observant. That is when retaliation, tailgating, speeding up, flashing lights, or aggressive overtaking can begin.

I didn’t see

One common limitation in ordinary driving is that many drivers follow the vehicle in front of them. They react to the vehicle in front, rather than reading the road ahead. They see brake lights, but they have not asked why the traffic is slowing. They have not looked through the bend, scanned the pavements, noticed the side road or anticipated the pedestrian, cyclist or delivery van. Advanced driving teaches the opposite: read the road early, gather information, plan ahead and constantly ask what might happen next.

For young drivers, this is crucial. Safety does not come from nervousness or bravado but from disciplined awareness; confidence is not the same as competence. Real competence is quiet, measured and composed. It lies in leaving space, managing speed, anticipating error and accepting that other people on the road may be distracted, impatient, frightened or careless.

A good driver does not merely control a car. A good driver understands that every journey takes place in a relationship with others.

 

Mark Vahrmeyer
Psychotherapist and an advanced motorist.
He runs Brighton & Hove Psychotherapy.