New research from Auto Trader reveals how often couples fight over sharing their cars.

Over a third admitting that having only one set of wheels between them causes arguments.

The research reveals that disputes over driving ability, trust and fuel are often the cause of these car-related relationship woes.

Car wars

The survey asked participating car sharing couples a series of questions. The aim was to discover how often they fight over their car and their biggest pet peeves. It also aimed to assess how much they trust their partner’s driving.

The results reveal that over a third (38%) of couples have fights relating to their shared car.

Most commonly it’s those aged 25 to 34, with the majority of their arguments stemming from sharing a car. Couples aged 17 to 24 followed close behind. 

Gender generalising

Both men and women are in agreement when it comes to the top three most annoying driving traits of their partners. Leaving rubbish in the car ranks highest in the table. This is followed by pointing out each other’s driving errors (a ‘backseat driver’) and leaving the fuel tank empty.

Interestingly, however, men and women have slightly different priorities overall.

Women care more about their partners not indicating or allowing them to change the music or volume while in the car. Meanwhile, men care more about their partners not checking tyre pressure, or filling up engine oil, water, or washer fluid.

 

Ten top arguments

Rank Complaint % Who Agree
1 Leaving rubbish in the car/leaving the car dirty inside 34%
2 Always pointing out your driving errors when they are the passenger 27%
3 Leaving the fuel tank near empty 22%
4 Constantly changing the driving seat position and settings 19%
5 Not washing or cleaning the car enough 18%
6 Playing music too loudly in the car 18%
7 Exhibiting road rage to other drivers 14%
8 Being too fussy or precious about keeping the car clean 14%
9 Never checking the tyre pressure 12%
10 Never filling up the engine oil, water or washer fluid 11%


Their partner’s driving

Couples were also quizzed on how much they trust each other to drive. Whilst the majority of people trust their partner to drive their car as much as they do to look after their pets and/or children – a significant portion do not.

The survey reveals that 20% of individuals would trust their partner to take care of their pet, but not drive their beloved car (29% of males compared to 14% of females). Similarly, one in five (19%) drivers say that whilst they would trust their partner to look after their child, they would not have faith in them drivingtheir car. This includes a shocking 31% of males, compared to just 12% of females.

 

Conflict

Relationship expert Tina Wilson, explains that conflicts can easily arise if one feels the other is not pulling their weight. If the other never helps or offers to help with the basic chores, resentment soon builds up. “Don’t treat your shared car responsibilities in this way either,” say Wilson.

“Regardless of the reasoning behind why we’re upset about the car – if it feels like your partner isn’t listening to you or understanding why it’s important to you that you want the car to be clean and refuelled, then it can manifest itself as a bigger relationship conflict – that your partner isn’t listening to you, or doesn’t care about you. Dealing with these issues can be very simple, but taking notice and taking action shows you are considerate of your partner’s feelings. Showing that you’re doing something about how they feel can go a long way to making your loved one feel understood.

“A car symbolises more than just a vehicle to some people, it can represent their freedom or even their hard work – things that their partner needs to be able to understand and respect.”

Erin Baker, Editorial Director at Auto Trader, commented: “Sharing a car can be a gateway to more freedom for couples, but it can also be a challenging household item to share. Our research makes it clear that sharing one vehicle between a couple can certainly have an impact on relationships, with both driving habits and common pet peeves proving irritating for partners. A car is often referred to as someone’s ‘third space’ after their home and office (sometimes it is the office) so it’s no wonder people have strong attachments to it and clear views on how it should be kept and driven!

“Communication and understanding are both key to avoiding these conflicts for those sharing one car per household, and while we know it can prove difficult – it’s certainly not impossible. For those who can’t seem to find harmony in their car sharing, however, perhaps it’s time to look at leasing a second vehicle to discover whether this can help alleviate those extra relationship stresses.”

To see the full survey here.